Saturday, May 21, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday May 22!

This Sunday I decided to use a snippet from a WIP short story, Laid To Rest.  This is for Viven, a faithful folllower of the Richie, Tommy Ray and Darlene adventure.  I think I finally may have the ending in sight.

For newcomers: This is a humorous story set in the 50's in Stuttsville, Mississippi.  Richie and Tommy Ray were stealing gas out of the mayor's Caddy while he was visiting Darlene, who works as a secretary during the day and has a home-based business selling nooky at night. The mayor dies of a heart attack while having sex with Darlene. Richie comes up with a scheme to make some easy money. He contacts the mayor's brother and offers to make the mayor's death look as if the heart attack happened while he was on his way to a Mason's meeting.   

There are other snippet links under the Laid To Rest tab. Darlene's posts about the history of personal hyigene and real men don't wear ruffles are now on Darlene's page.

The current snippet comes as they are on the highway. Richie is driving the Caddy with the mayor on the passenger's side. Darlene and Tommy Ray are following in Richie's old Chevy.

     Darlene rolled down the window and looked at me like I didn't have a brain one. "Richie, you don't pull over when you've got a dead body in the car with you!"
     "I've run outta gas."
     "The mayor didn't have no gas in his Cadiallac?"
     "I thought the very same thing when I was sucking on the hose," Tommy Ray admitted with a solemn nod and Darlene let out a shriek.
     "You morons!"

Check out the other writers and their posts at www.sixsunday.blogspot.com
Also, at the Brenda Novak Diabetes auction, you can get a 1st Chapter critique by me and Darlene, too!  If you are interested, you can bid here to help out a great cause. http://bit.ly/is1tgL 


31 comments:

Ginger Simpson said...

I love humor in books. This sounds great.

Patricia Preston said...

Thanks, Ginger!

Sandra Sookoo said...

I love this WIP! Thanks for posting!

Gem Sivad said...

I think maybe Tommy Ray may have inhaled a few too many fumes along the way. :) Fun SSS.

Cherie Marks said...

Hilarious! I really like this. Great six.

Jenna Jaxon said...

I cannot wait for this to be available! Love the voice, love the action. Love the pic from Oh, Brother Where Art Thou? My favorite George Clooney movie. "Dumber than a bag of hammers!" I'm guessing that's Darlene's sentiment right about now. Fantastic six!

Taryn Kincaid said...

So hilarious! Weekend at Bernie's meets O, Brother Where Art Thou!

Vivien Jackson said...

Ending in sight?! SO FUN! Sucking on the hose - oh dear. (Hee.) Latest snippet continues the awesome voice. Can't tell you how much I'm looking to read the whole story altogether.

Lisa Fox said...

So FUNNY! I've loved every snippet I've read from this story.

Ranae Rose said...

LOL! Nice six. I love stories that make me laugh. :)

Marie Dees said...

I just love these guys!

Reina said...

Love it. :) So good I want to buy it when it's done, even though I will have already read it. :)

Sarah Grimm said...

So funny! I love this WIP!

Jessica K said...

Hilarious! What a great humorous voice you have.

Cate Masters said...

You portray these characters so vividly. Love their voice!

Elaine Cantrell said...

Very funny!

Susanna Fraser said...

Hilarious six!

Lindsay said...

This is one funny story. Keep it coming

J.C. Martin said...

I like the humour in the dialogue. Thanks for visiting my blog!

Lisa said...

Very funny!!!!

ada-hoffmann said...

Oh my! Cute dark humor. Good six.

Patricia Preston said...

All the comments are so motivational. I need to come up with an ending!

sassyspeaks said...

a brain one - is that a typo or can I just not read which is a possiblity - not the brightest crayons in the box - but amusing (Lindsay will holler at me for those dashes....)

J.A. Beard said...

I love the humor here.

Liia Ann White said...

Haha that's great.
Nice 6 :-)

Pippa Jay said...

These guys just crack me up every six of them I read. :D

Jayel Kaye said...

I loved it. I can just see the whole thing.

TKToppin said...

Great little snippet.

sassyspeaks said...

Thanks! I live waaay north and not familiar with all those southern sayings - so now just learned a new one

Patricia Preston said...

Sassy: LOL!! I have tons more!

Eleri Stone said...

Stumbled a lil over 'a brain one' too. Just haven't heard it. Every six I've read from this story makes me leave your site with a grin on my face.